shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
