Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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