I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize