you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Randomize
