It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
