Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize