i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
