i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
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You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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