I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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