omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
