Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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