once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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