She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
