i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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