There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
