Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
