Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
