remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Randomize
