i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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