Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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