Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
