Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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