the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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