i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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