Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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