My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I've blown a few things in my day
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
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When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
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coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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