Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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