its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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