you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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