How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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