I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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