my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
only you would photoshop your dick
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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