is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
