You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
