I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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