words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
