Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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