you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
