Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
