dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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