I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize