We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I CAN MOONWALK!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
