no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
