hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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