dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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