Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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