please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
