I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
