No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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