it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
