areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he shaved USA in his pubs
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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