you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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