Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
