My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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