too bad you live with your parents still
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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