youre lurking in front of me
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
