Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
