I think I am morally bankrupt
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
