im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
