ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We got so high we made milksteak
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
