Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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