Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just want to make out with him forever
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
